Psychological consultation is a job that requires patience, alertness to understand correctly and deeply, and if it is necessary to share, “taking medicine” can heal the wounded to be removed …
The story of “happy listening” in work with TS. Pham Thi Thuy, a consultant of psychology of Ho Chi Minh City Women’s Culture House, a lecturer at the HCM City National Academy of Public Administration will help you understand more about psychological counseling as well as listening to you. How successful in life. Share with Reporter Giac Ngo about the conditions with career, she said:
– I was fortunate to be charmed with psychological counseling since 1999. Just before I graduated from university a few months I had the opportunity to try a job at an organization specializing in psychological consultation in Hanoi. I love psychology, like reading psycho-social novels from a baby should be done in the right environment of psychological consultation, I like and stick to it for 18 years now. Doing this job right after graduating from college with me was a wonderful cause.
I received advice from many masters in the counseling profession, and was trained with American experts on counseling skills right from the beginning of my apprenticeship. When I came to Ho Chi Minh City, I continued to do this work in parallel with teaching and studying postgraduate courses in clinical psychology, then a master of clinical psychology, a joint program between the University of Paris 7 and the Medical University. Pham Ngoc Thach.
* In contact with a lot of subjects, has any song left her with strong feelings so far still not forgotten? And what is the lesson about the counseling art that she draws for herself?
– In the past 18 years, I have met many clients directly. Perhaps the most haunting are those about domestic violence. The day I was new to the job, I did not have a family, listening to those cases, I was so obsessed that I thought I should not get married because of so much suffering. Through the process of vocational training and self-training, I gradually learned to separate myself from the client’s stories, no longer obsessive.
The lesson I learned is that I need to learn how to transform myself, the mind of peace will help others. Listening is the most difficult art in consultation. If you listen, let your client’s emotions affect your mind because of your past trauma. The counselor needs to heal his own soul to be able to heal others.
* Where do I need to be a new consultant to be “happy to listen”, other jobs also need this, what about you?
– Where there is communication where there is a need to listen. Even when communicating with nature, if we listen to the sound of nature, we can really immerse ourselves in nature and enjoy the wonderful beauty of the wind, the rustling of the leaves, the sound of birds singing, and the sound of insects. .. And all other jobs and jobs need to have communication between people and people as much as possible to listen.
Knowing how to listen and understand, understand and understand that there is love and understanding, it is possible to cooperate with each other to solve all problems in work and life.
Who knows who knows how to communicate. Communicating is the key to opening the door of happiness and success!
* As a profession, she observed and found, people often fall into stalemate, suffering, frustration, failure … according to which formula is mainly, basic?
– My clients have met them in a deadlock, suffering, disappointment, … often because they do not understand themselves, do not understand people around them. They refused to spend time listening to their own inner voices and the hearts of others. That makes them do not know what they really want, the husband and wife who is the partner of the boss who the client wants … so the conflict arises and results in failures in relationships and deadlock. , suffering in internal pain …
* Having commented that, in order to succeed in life, happiness in marriage and teach good children, you need to listen. Do you agree and share more, expand on this view?
– Right. Wanting a happy family, children and children need to learn to listen. Husband and wife listen to each other will understand each other, accept each other, from there will respect and love each other more. Parents who listen to their children will understand them and from there know what they should say and should not say anything when teaching their children. The consultations on disagreements in married life and I heard my husband / wife the most is that she / he does not understand me or I do not understand what he / she wants …
I was fortunate to have a career in teaching in parallel with counseling, so when I had contact with the students, they complained that their parents did not understand me, they did not feel the love from their parents. Parents in parenting skills classes complain that I can’t understand children now why does it behave like that … How to understand their spouse / children? Can only be listening. Hear what they really want to say but have not spoken in words. We need to hear with our eyes, with our hearts but not with our ears. Need to learn to listen with all 5 senses and a loving and compassionate heart.
* It is known that TS.Thuy is still meditating, taking energy peacefully every day with positive ways of thinking, inspiring optimism on forums … Is it a way to listen to yourself, understand and love yourself of you?
– Yes, meditation is the way I listen to my mind. Understand yourself to love yourself, to take care of yourself every day, to improve yourself, not to seek satisfaction from outside but to find inner peace. I am meditating like a practitioner, I don’t know much, I haven’t practiced much about meditation. I often meditate in the evening, meditate on the letter before going to bed, meditate on the method of Thich Nhat Hanh – practice mindfulness in each of my actions every day. Thinking positively and spreading good things on Facebook, in classrooms, forums with me is a task I need to do for myself and for everyone to be happy!
* There is one thing that parents still concern about “generation gap”, can not understand children for many reasons, she has any advice for parents and children not to become far away way? And your personal experience in the distance gap, listening to your children in your own home?
– The distance of the generation is far away, inversely proportional to the number of years between generations which are increasingly shortened, 5 years a generation, 3 years a generation, not 20 years ago … Each of us is very different from people born 3-5 years ago. So are parents and children separated by generations? At least four generations! The more technology is developed, the more society changes, the more people are different from each other in the way of thinking, action, hobbies, and lifestyle … So the more parents need to listen to their children, put themselves in position. your mind to understand your child’s living environment, learning environment, understanding advantages, opportunities and challenges in the living society …
Listening without judgment, listening with no comparison, listening without expectation … then parents can be my friends, understanding my children and traveling with my children on the road are so many changes today. I am also learning how to listen to my children this way every day. It takes 3 years to learn to speak but needs life to learn to listen. Parents cannot assume that they give birth, nurture, take care of their children. Growing up every day in an increasingly complex society, in order to understand you, help you always need parents to listen with compassion.
Uncertain future, parents need to give their children inner strength by listening – understanding – loving – accepting – helping their children so that they are confident, having a strong will in life with many opportunities and challenges such as The current.
* Thank you for taking the time to share!