Listening Skills is the most important skill to succeed in every communication. As the saying goes, Russia used to say something like that: People lose three years to learn to speak, but it takes a lifetime to learn to listen. However, in everyday life, very few people are able to listen, they unknowingly lack an important communication skill and make communication less effective.
Why listen?
Listening skills determine 90% success in all communication, accompanied by speaking skills. And although listening is a human reflex, listening is a skill that must be learned and trained to be proficient.
The role of listening
- Listening helps improve your communication skills to those around you. With the listening process, you can grasp the problem, collect information, thereby improving the ability of interaction between you and your opponent.
- Besides, listening creates an emotional connection between you and your partner. Since then create sympathy with the enemy. Listening helps you share your sympathy with others, and you can understand your opponent better.
- Listening is also a restrictive measure as well as an effective way to resolve conflicts. Create good relationships, a stepping stone to success in career and life.
7 golden principles to get effective listening skills
1. Focus on communication
Communication is a two-way interaction, you cannot absorb what the other person communicates without concentration.
Besides, your attention to things around you and lack of focus on the conversation will make the opponent feel uncomfortable, hard to cause sympathy.
You should focus on communication by limiting the causes of the disturbance such as turning off the phone, finding a quiet space to chat with …
2. Absolutely do not interrupt
We can be sure that a person who has a habit of interrupting others cannot have good listening skills. If you want to listen well, the condition is that you have to let the enemy have a “space” to speak, instead of spending all their talking.
Not only that, when you interrupt you will make the opponent uncomfortable, no longer want to share. To understand this most clearly, you absolutely can put yourself in the position of the enemy to feel. You probably don’t like people who always steal your words, don’t you?
3. Understand when listening
Because not everyone can say it directly to you. So in the process of listening, you need to use your thinking to find the meaning that the opponent wants to convey. For example, when the enemy invites you to eat, they may be hungry, and you should not keep them to talk to you. Two people can completely switch to another space to chat.
Everyone must feel sympathetic towards a person who understands himself. Besides, realizing that the meaning of the opponent is also the basis to help you respond accordingly, please listen. Understanding your opponent will help you avoid words that offend or hurt them.
4. Don’t judge and impose the opponent
An important principle for acquiring effective listening skills is that you need an open mindset to become a good listener. Because no one wants to talk to a conservative, imposing their thoughts on others, requiring them to approve it and not express their views.
It does not mean that you have no personal intention, but that you should limit your ego when communicating to really understand others. Your point of view is not necessarily correct, getting ideas from others will help you improve.
5. Know how to ask questions
Asking questions is a way for you to let your partner know that you’re watching the conversation, you’re listening to them and paying attention to what they say.
However, you should remember that there is a need for art to ask questions, you should ask questions that express your agreement and surprise like: “Really?”, “That’s right” … let the other person know you are interested in their story. At the same time, your questioning will make your partner share more information about the topic being talked about.
Knowing how to ask subtle questions will show you are a good listener and caring person!
6. Body language
In addition to showing that you are listening to the other person by asking questions, you also need to show that you are listening in body language. Through expressions like: surprised, touched …; By actions like: sitting in the direction of the opponent, nodding when you hear the other person say …
7. Give personal opinions
Good listening skills are not that you will be silent throughout the conversation and hear the other person speak. That will make the enemy feel like a monologue.
So, besides asking you to ask your personal opinions in their stories. For example, “I used to be like you”, “I totally agree” …. The opponent will feel more excited and open to share more. With “I understand” comments, “I know” … reserve them at the end of the conversation, because they are the sign of the ending conversation.
Giving your personal opinion about the enemy’s story is an affirmation that you have really listened to their story.
Conclude
Basic communication skills are not just speaking skills, but you have to listen. Listening skills will help you and your partner understand each other and have a successful communication. Listeners will have more friends, colleagues, customers, etc. And listening is the way to enhance self-worth in every communication.